All That is Lost
by madeleine-lila
Summary: Even at fourteen, Leia Skywalker has never done anything halfway. AU
1. Chapter 1

**I only had a vague idea of what I was doing when I wrote this. It was mostly for fun, but I ended up liking it and writing way too much. Basically, the changes are that Padme survived to raise the twins and Vader's body is mostly intact. So no suit. I hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Leia knows she shouldn't be here.

Actually, her mother was set strictly against anything involving 'here.' Earlier, she'd even gone into her protective, commanding _Mom_ mode, and Leia had grimaced to herself when the _promise me you'll listen_ had come around. It was always 'promise me you'll stay here, Leia' or 'swear you'll listen to these direct orders next time, Leia.' Of course, Luke had never been on the receiving end on any of these speeches from their mother; he was the perfect child.

She supposes she could see how she might be frustrating Padme and any other of the number of Rebel troops she'd ever carelessly disobeyed, but Leia never breaks the rules unless it's completely necessary; she might be a little reckless on occasion, but she's never stupid. She knows what she's doing. Well, usually.

But she does _now_. It was vital to the Alliance that they know this snippet of information - it could change all their theories and tries and fails, and they weren't doing enough to get to it. No, Leia is quite certain that, if they really knew what she was sure she did - she _felt_ it, like a second nature, a sixth sense that she can't put into words for the life of her - they wouldn't be so opposed to all of her ideas.

Maybe it's because she's so young. Maybe none of them will endanger their lives for the foolish daydream of an angsty, father-less fourteen-year-old who can't even seem to listen to an order. In any case, she wouldn't have let anyone endanger their own life for her own idea. She would just have to do it herself.

So there she is, angling her ship - she'd demanded to be taught to fly when she was about eight, and her brother, hesitant but enthusiastic, had learned right along with her - for a smooth landing on the prettiest planet she's ever seen. Naboo is certainly a sight to behold; there's a wide expanse of green and then above her is a shimmery blue sky. The distant, welcoming scent of flowers lingers in the air, and Leia can't hold back a little, self-satisfied smile. _I made it._

The next step of her plan. She exhales to slow her racing heartbeat, swallowing against her dry throat. So she may be a little nervous, but that's completely natural. She's never done anything like this before, but she's determined to leave with what she came for.

 _Mom is going to skewer me alive_ , she thinks with a grim twist of her lips. "Alright, Artoo," she whispers, grabbing her helmet from the storage compartment and adjusting it to cover her face. The little droid beeps back. "I'm going to be right back, okay? Stay right here." Leia fixes him with a stern look, trying to imitate her mother's. "Don't follow me."

R2 beeps in protest, but she shushes him, tucking her long braid into the helmet. "Stay, little guy," she says again. "Things could go pretty badly if you don't."

All she has to do is get the coordinates for the next location of Vader's ship. Completely simple, really. She shouldn't be feeling so - so nervous. _Get it together, Leia. You only might encounter a few of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. Nothing to worry about._

* * *

She should know what she's doing.

She's been planning this for over a month; she's outlined her plan hundreds of times inside her head - she's explained it out to a rather exasperated, concerned Luke. She knows it by heart. Leia is far from unprepared, but suddenly, as she stares at the very place Darth Vader and Force knows what else lurks, she feels like she's naked in the cold.

It's thrilling, too. The very thought sends a nervous, jittery sort of excitement pulsing through her blood. She's never felt excitement like this before - the thrill of the chase already building inside her and her blood bubbling with anticipation.

She can feel each second as it passes and she can feel the gentle wind as she moves quickly through the expanse of gentle forestry. _Bad bad bad_ , the feeling in her chest screams as she spots an Imperial shuttle, but Leia ignores it.

Her senses feel alive and heightened suddenly, almost like they do when she's with Luke - that unspoken bond that hovers between the two twins that she swears is almost tangible and more than a _sibling thing_ , like Padme suggests when Leia innocently inquired a few years ago, when she thought her mother hung the moon. She never bothers asking, not anymore. She never gets a straight answer.

A feeling is buzzing in her veins, and it's familiar and exhilarating and she welcomes it like she always does, giving herself into the pull inside her mind.

And there - _there_ , it's right there, just a few blocks down. She just _knows_ like she and Luke always do, can feel it as if it is the will of the universe. She knows that's where she'll find the coordinates.

Leia breaks into a sprint, trying her best to be quiet, inconspicuous. Clever enough, she supposes, to take camp in a friendly village - though she doubts any of the citizens had stayed for Vader's arrival, which explains the looming quiet of this particular part of the planet - and plan for an attack with a massive flagship where no one would suspect. Of course, the Rebels had had little trouble in disconcerting Vader's location, she thinks, with a rush of renewed pride.

She fiddles with the blaster at her waist, squeezing the handle. It won't be free of guards, she knows, and maybe she doesn't stand a chance at all - maybe she'll be dead in a few short minutes, but really - _I've made it this far_. So Leia tightens her grip on the weapon, breathing out slowly before she walks cautiously until she's safely behind a tree, blaster in her hand and heart racing in her chest. _Here goes nothing_.

She moves quickly; her finger is squeezing the trigger and a split second later she dives into the tall grass behind the trees, watching the troopers zone in on first where the blast hit - somewhere a few meters to her right - and then glance around, expecting to see the culprit, but Leia's already leaning against the unarmed side of the house, hearing them talk quietly amongst to themselves and finally coming to a decision that half of them will go after the one who fired the shot and the other half would stay and watch - which left four for her to deal with. Leia - brows drawn together in determination and eyes concentrated on the four white figures disappearing into the distance on speeders. She dares a little smile, sneaking back around to the side with the other half when they're gone.

The first two will be easy to take out from here; she has a clear shot at both from here that she's quick to take, shooting quickly and trying not to pay attention to the bile rising in her throat as she watches the collapse to the ground, dead at her hand. _For the Alliance_ , she tells herself. _For Mom and for Luke and for Dad, too._

One of the stormtroopers shouts to the other, and Leia tightens her jaw. She's spent quite a lot of time on hand-to-hand combat, but she's no match against Imperial troops. She doesn't have much time to make a new plan, though, because the one closest to her is shooting, and Leia jumps out of the way, mind in a frenzy. _Oh Force oh no Mom was right this was a bad idea dammit Leia you should've listened for once_ -

A shot hits her. It's her bicep, and she hisses in protest as she feels the warm, sticky blood, blindly shooting at the other troops and - it's so _odd_ that that one made its target, because she could have sworn she was at least ten feet off, but one of the stormtroopers is down and only one is shooting but he misses her and she shoots again and she doesn't think that one will hit its intended, either, but it swerves almost too quickly for her to see, but she does, and when the last falls, Leia stands in shock for only a moment before regaining her senses and dashing into the house, slipping on her gloves and rifling through all of the useless junk and things that could not have been more clearly decoys if they had the word written on them in red ink, before she spies a cheap little box in the middle of all of the wreck, and the feeling inside of her is alive again and she _knows_ , so she grapples for the thing and opens it quickly, beyond pleased when she finds a little holocomputer chip sitting inside.

She doesn't have time to check and see that it really is what she's looking for - _she knows, though_ \- so Leia grasps the little thing in her fist and does her best to put everything back where it was originally, cursing herself, because she finally has started to register how dangerous this mission really was and the pain in her arm is not going away and -

She breathes out, focusing on exiting the house so she can get the hell away from there and show all of them that she really _could_ do it, and she's almost out of the little arrangement of houses in some stupid town in Naboo, helmet off to avoid suspicion of any kind and she's finally started to breathe normally, but now she's grinning, feeling the chip in her zipped pocket and feeling the adrenaline in her veins - when she hears it.

Undoubtedly, it is the sound of a ship landing nothing but a few feet away, and Leia jumps, startled. _Oh_ , she thinks, dread pooling in her blood. _Oh_ \- _oh no_. She knows it's him - it's Vader, she's almost certain, and she's just stolen from him and - _no_. Leia stones her face, fists clenching, and does her best to disguise the bloodied mess on her forearm. Not like it works very well, of course, she thinks, wincing.

There's no time to run now, because the shuttle is opening, and the sight of the tower of a man standing at the entrance is enough to send shivers down Leia's spine. She refuses to be scared, though. Instead, she welcomes the anger that rushes through her at the sight of him. She relishes the dark feeling of fury, but keeps her face regretfully blank. She can control her emotions - _usually_.

She's standing off to the side, so she's certain he doesn't see her right away, but she feels almost unsettled as his head instantly turns and if she could see his eyes under the dark hood he wears she knows they would be glued to her.

Leia's jaw clenches as she feels his cool gaze over her. This - this _monster_ standing in front of her is the reason for the suffering of all of these people in the galaxy. She's heard the words _Sith Lord_ before but no one has ever bothered to explain it to her, and for the life of her she couldn't find anything, not even on the holonet.

From what she's heard, Vader is one of what they call a _Sith_. Dark. Consuming. Evil.

She hates him. She hates him as she always has, and how she knows if Luke dared ever say he hated _anything_ , it would be Vader.

She doesn't want him to speak. She wants to leave this planet and give the coordinates to the Rebels and let her mother hold her tight for the first time in what must be years.

When Vader speaks, his voice is low and rough. "Who are you, young one?" He doesn't sound angry - actually, he doesn't sound like anything at all. His voice is emotionless and the tone is flat. "Why are you here?" There's a tinge of threat in his words, but Leia isn't easily broken down by anyone.

"Am I not allowed to be?" she says, proud that it comes out just as smooth and neutral.

Vader shows no visible reaction to her impolite response. "You are not from here," he says, and Leia twists her fingers into the fabric of her shirt. "So no, I don't suppose you are allowed to be."

He won't be easy to fool. Leia internally curses herself for her recklessness. She'd be lucky to make it out of here alive, from what she has heard of Darth Vader. "The Empire granted all of us free passage around the galaxy, as long as it is monitored and registered. I am allowed to be here." _To some extent. Maybe._

"You are not of age," he answers, still unaffected. " _You_ are not allowed free passage until you are at least eighteen years of age." For once, Leia is silent, and she senses, _possibly_ , a bit of dark smugness from the Sith Lord. "I will ask you only once more. Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

Leia bites her lip, containing the frustration and anger bubbling beneath the surface. "Leia Organa," she says, taking the decoy name her mother and her good friend Bail Organa had adapted for her and Luke. Of course, Leia didn't really know exactly _why_ she needs a disguise - _what's wrong with Leia Skywalker?_ \- but Padme had never given Luke or Leia their real last names to anyone outside of the Alliance, so Leia figured it must be important. "I'm here because -" - _come on Leia come on think_ \- "I was flying and I got lost. I - er -" She winces, trying to appear embarrassed. "I decided to land in the nearest planet and ask for directions."

Vader's silence is cutting. For a moment, she thinks that she really has messed up, that she was a kriffing idiot for thinking she could fool him. Then -

"Organa?" He sounds just as before - dismissive, uncaring. "Any relation to Bail Organa?"

"Yes," Leia says, calmer now. "He's my father." Vader's figure is bold and intruding, and she steels herself and - ignoring the flash of anger as he continues to study her without any actual interest. Almost as if he's trying to decipher something - "Can I go?"

For a moment, she swears she can see the gleam of dark blonde hair - a color she's always affiliated with Luke - in the bright sunlight, but his hood is making it much too dark for her to see. "Yes," Vader says, and maybe she's suffering from extreme blood-loss or she's going quite crazy, but she hears a little tinge of _something_ in his voice. Longing, maybe. Leia shakes herself. _Sith Lords don't have emotions, you stupid girl._ "I suppose you may."

* * *

The flight back to the Rebel base is a difficult one.

Leia's arm pounds, making it hard to concentrate on the controls, and she almost clocks out a few times, but with the help of R2-D2 and the autopilot setting, she manages.

Leia dreads her mother's reaction when she arrives back, dreads the imminent lecture and the cotton swabs on her arm. "Well, Artoo," she says conversationally to the droid as they pull into the dirt of Dantooine, "if I'm not around tomorrow, please feel free to assume it is because Mom stabbed me with her elaborate, exquisitely jeweled headpiece."

R2 beeps sorrowfully, and Leia smiles. "It's good to know someone cares, little guy. C'mon - better to get this death sentence over with quick than to wait it out. Plus, I've got to get these coordinates to Mon Mothma." Excitement ignites in her belly, but she ignores it - for the time being.

" _Leia Shmi Skywalker_!" Sometimes, Leia wonders if her mother was some sort of court official in hell in a past life - she can certainly be terrifying enough. Maybe it's a politician thing, she thinks with a half-hearted smile. She turns to face her mother, and when she sees the dark circles under Padme's eyes and the tear streaks down her face, shame blossoms in her stomach. _Oh, Force._

The first thing her mother does when she sees Leia is pull her into an embrace so tight that for a moment, Leia forgets how to breathe. Then, suddenly, she's being pushed away with an angry fervor and faced with brown eyes very alike to her own. "You," Padme Amidala says, voice trembling with fury and maybe the force of holding back tears, too. "You, Leia Skywalker, are in _huge_ trouble."

Leia swallows. "Mom, I -"

"No," her mother snaps, cutting her off. "No. I don't want to hear an apology. What in the _nine hells_ were you _thinking_ , you damn girl? Do you think you're some kind of unbreakable force? That you can risk your own life time after time and things will go the way you want them every time? Because, I can tell you, Leia," Padme hisses, eyes flashing, "Your father thought the very same thing, but he was _far_ from unbreakable. Trust _me_."

" _Mom_ ," Leia croaks, suddenly feeling very tired and about as far from _unbreakable_ as she can remember ever being. "Mom." She says Padme's name again, and maybe it's the way she does it, or something in her eyes, but the fiery lividness in her mother's eyes fades into something milder. "I'm sorry," she says, and she can't recall ever feeling smaller, more insignificant. "I just thought - I thought that if I could get those coordinates - that maybe - maybe you would all see that I - that I was something - _someone_ -"

She's cut off when her mother lifts her hand, brushing back a wayward lock of dark hair, using her thumb to wipe at a bit of dirt on Leia's face. "Oh, Leia," she murmurs, suddenly looking exasperated and sad and adoring all at once. "Oh, my little angel, my love. Oh, no. No, no, no. You're already so much to everyone here, don't you see? That's why I'm angry, and it's why the rest of them seem so irritated when you disobey an order time after time again and risk your own life." Padme cups her daughters' face with her palm.

"I'm not weak," Leia says, and she's not sure if she's trying to convince herself or the rest of them.

"No, you're definitely not." Padme smiles. "You're like your father." She strokes back another piece of hair. "Now come on, darling. We're going to get you cleaned up and bandaged, and then you're going to give us those Executor coordinates and we're going to figure out a plan."

"What - I - how did you know I got them?"

Her mother just smiles again, shaking her head. "You never do anything halfway, do you?"

* * *

It's two days later that Leia finally has the courage to ask.

She's propped herself up on the side table somewhere in the middle of the Rebel base, and Luke is standing beside her, grinning in exasperation at some joke Wedge Antilles just made, and Leia is staring down at her feet, recalling her mother's words.

 _Your father thought the very same thing, but he was far from unbreakable._

 _You're like your father_.

It was rare that Padme ever brought up anyone from her own past, especially Luke and Leia's father, and that fact that she had done it twice that day only just struck Leia as a bit odd. Was it some stroke of remembrance that Leia had missed? Had her mother finally decided that it would be fair if her children knew about their father? Leia was restless; she couldn't _not_ know anything about the man that her mother had loved and had loved Padme and his unborn children up until something happened.

 _What_ happened?

"Luke," she says suddenly, and her twin brother looks up, blinking in confusion at being interrupted, but Leia doesn't care. "Come with me."

Luke exchanges a puzzled look with Wedge, but after a moment, he shrugs. "Alright. I suppose after fourteen years I've learned not to question you."

Leia walks briskly, knowing through their unspoken bond that he knows just as well as she does what she intends to do. "Leia!" he calls from a few feet behind. "First of all - slow _down_. Second - are you sure you want to do this?" He raises a dubious eyebrow. "You know how Mom gets about - him."

"I'm sure," she answers, slowing her pace for only a second so he can catch up to her. "Trust me, Luke. This is important; she can't keep us in the dark about the man who should've helped raise us all our lives because it's a sensitive topic."

Luke still looks uncertain. "I don't know, Leia. We might want to approach this with more - ease."

"Ease?" Leia scoffs. "Ease. Right. Yeah, and while we're at it, why don't we give Mom another fourteen years to give cryptic, unhelpful answers? Don't be ridiculous, Luke. We've let her off so many times, I think we deserve some real answers."

"Leia, really - maybe you should think this through a little more -"

She whirls on him, raising a threatening finger. "One more word from you and I'll make sure you _can't_ talk." It's quiet for a moment, the silence she can never decide if she likes between the two of them; soft, the kind of patient, waiting quiet that her brother always seems to carry with him. Leia sighs, defeated. "Yeah. Sorry. I just - don't you want to know about Dad?"

Luke rests a hand on her shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "Of course I do." He kisses the top of her head. "You're right too, you know. We've given Mom plenty of time. If you really need to, we can do it now. I'll stick by you the whole way."

"I do," she says quietly. "I really - I _do_. This is important, Luke."

"Let's find Mom, then."

* * *

They find her with Mon Mothma, working on the Executor coordinate ambush plans. Leia has half a mind to know her mother doesn't enjoy this part of her job nearly half as much as the rest - Padme's always been strictly against violence, no matter who they were dealing with.

"Mom," Leia greets. "Mon Mothma." She inclines her head respectively. "Er - we were wondering if we could talk to you for a moment, Mom. I just - I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's important. To us."

When they exit the room and to the empty one across the hall, Leia has a feeling their mother knows what they'll say before they really say it. She exchanges a look with Luke, noting the weariness in Padme's sparkly brown eyes. "Listen." Leia twists her hands together in her lap. "I know - I know you don't like you talk about it, and I know you might not think we're old enough to know. But we really - we really think it's time we know the truth."

"We were talking about this, Mom," Luke says. "We were talking about this and I think Leia's right; we've given you all these years to tell us but you've never even brought it up to us, not once. You know what we're talking about," he adds.

Padme sighs, sitting down on the worn-down sofa across from the twins. "I do," she says, quiet. "And I'm sorry I've never tried to tell you both. It - you see, I've got a feeling you're going to be disappointed. It's a lot worse than you think, this story." Something in Leia's gut twists; somehow, she knows the childish fantasies she used to enjoy conjuring up in her head of her father, the fearless warrior, courageous war hero, are about to be ruined.

"Your father was a good man," Padme says, looking so much older than only forty-one. "Anakin Skywalker - that was his name." She smiles, just barely, and Leia's stomach flutters nervously, anticipating. "You see, when I was your age - exactly your age, in fact - I was elected queen of Naboo. It was awful young to rule an entire planet, but at the time all I was focused on was the safety of my people, so I didn't care much for my own age. It was a dangerous time to be queen; we were teetering on the edge of the Clone Wars and you never knew who would jump out and try and kill you, so I went into hiding. At the suggestion of my advisers, I had one of my good friends and handmaidens, Sabe, disguise herself as the queen - as me - and pose as me in social situations and things that were not necessary that I attend in person. I met your father on Tatooine," she says, smiling like she's lost in some far away world, trapped in a far away memory. Leia's heart suddenly aches for her.

"I was accompanying two Jedi Knights - guardians of the galaxy by the way of the Force, but I'm sure you know that - Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who I know you've met multiple times, but we'll get to that later. Our ship had crashed on Tatooine, and we were looking for parts to fix it. We found the part we needed. It was kept with a Toydarian named Watto, who had a slave boy and his mother." Padme looked away, smile gone. "It was your father. He was only nine at the time, but he was unbelievably kind and selfless. He risked his life in a pod race to win us the part, and when he won the race, he was freed. You see, your father was a Force-sensitive - extremely so - and Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan wished to take him back to the Jedi Temple and train him to use his powers for good. So they did." Her lips curl up at the corners. "The Jedi took him in, and after Qui-Gon's death, your father became Obi-Wan's Jedi apprentice. I was only queen for a little over a year after that, and then I became a senator for Naboo and the Old Republic. I didn't see your father again for ten years." Padme looks up at them both.

"I was under the threat of assassination a decade later, and Obi-Wan and his Padawan were sent to protect me. I survived, of course, because Anakin and I were sent back to my home planet to keep me safe from the bounty hunter assigned to me. Foolishly -" she swallows, the smile on her face turning a little bitter. "Foolishly, we fell in love. He was a Jedi and Jedi were forbidden to attachment, and I was a senator with many responsibilities, but we loved each other. We married right after the start of the Clone Wars. Now, tune in sharp, my loves," she says. "This is where it starts to fall apart. Before the marriage and the first battle on Geonosis, we travelled against the Jedi Order's will to visit Anakin's mother, because he had been having awful nightmares of her, and Jedi's dreams are often the will of the Force. I couldn't refuse him. When we arrived on Tatooine, he found his mother. Shmi, Leia," Padme says. "You were named for her. He found her at a Tusken Raider camp - dying. She did die - in his arms, and he - Ani - he killed them all." Her eyes darken with an unfamiliar emotion, one Leia has never seen in her mother's eyes. "The women, the children - all of them. I forgave him, of course. He was angry and still young and I thought that his actions were understandable, considering the circumstances. I was wrong; Jedi aren't supposed to killed without reason - only for self-defense or the protection of others."

"For about three years, we burned strong. We were young and passionate and driven by the belief that nothing could tear us apart. Anakin went away for months at a time to fight for the Republic against the Separatists, and I continued my work in the Galactic Senate. Some days, I did nothing but miss him - wish I could have him back for one more night, then curse my childish dreams the next days; this never could have worked. About three or four years after our marriage, he came back from the war to some surprising news - I was pregnant." Padme smiles widely, and Leia swallows, blinking. "At the time, I didn't know it was twins, and I wouldn't until you were born. Your father was overjoyed, and it felt like we were back all those years ago when we first fell in love. We were happy - I hope you know that. Then he started having dreams." She shuts her eyes - sighs. "Like the ones of his mother, but of me. He dreamt I would die in childbirth. Clearly, that dream had been wrong, and I'll explain that in just a moment. Anakin was getting worse. He was more and more angry - more anxious - he _hated_. All of those things - they were not good, and I was too late when I recognized it. We were crumbling, Luke, Leia, the whole galaxy was crumbling, and none of us realized until it was far too late to save. You see, the Supreme Chancellor's name was Sheev Palpatine."

Leia sucks in a quick, hissing breath through her teeth, grabbing Luke's hand and squeezing tight. He squeezes back, and the warmth is comforting. "Wait," she says. "Is that - isn't that the Emperor?"

Her mother nods gravely. "Indeed, it was. We were in the hands of the Empire far before any such thing existed. We played right into their hands; everything was going according to Sidious's plan. Even Ani." Her eyes cloud with what might be tears for a moment, but then she wipes a finger under her eyes, exhaling loudly. "You see, Palpatine - Sidious - is a Sith. He uses the Force, but not the Light side of it. He's a - a monster. He influenced your father's dreams - even though we were married in secret, he had picked up on it. He knew that Anakin loved me, and he used that love - he _twisted_ it. He mangled it into something terrible and harmful. He used the love your father felt to - to destroy him. Anakin loved fiercely, and I had always loved that about him. He loved Obi-Wan and his Padawan and even his squadron of clone troopers and you both. Jedi weren't supposed to . . . be that passionate. Emotional. The Jedi Order was always suspicious of your father, and rightfully so. I didn't want to believe it when Obi-Wan told me Anakin had slaughtered all the young children in the Jedi Temple, but the security footage was proof enough." A tear slips out, but Leia's mother is quick to catch it. Leia's heart is beating fast, disbelief pounding in her veins. "He had taken Darth Sidious as his new master, and helped him execute the order to get rid of all the Jedi. It succeeded. All the Jedi - all in the _galaxy_ were suddenly gone except for two - Obi-Wan and Master Yoda."

Padme sighs. "I was still desperate. There was nothing in me that wanted to believe your father had done any of those things. It didn't make him seem like the kind man I married at all. It wasn't. I followed him to Mustafar - I tried - I did all I could to convince him to come back and save himself and me and you, but he was blinded by - by the Dark Side of the Force. He was convinced we could rule the Empire - together, and raise you both alongside it. I refused. I tried one last time - and it -" She chokes off, and it's now that Leia sees the tears trailing down her mother's face. It makes her blood boil - it makes her hate her father, seeing what he did to Padme. "I told him I loved him. And I did. It was terrible and twisted and broken but _somehow_ I still loved him just as much as I did at first. He screamed - he called me a liar, and then - and then he choked me. It was like - like it was his hands but it wasn't, because it was the Force that was choking me off, and I couldn't breathe and I was terrified, but the worst pain of all was the look in his eyes and the tears on his face. I remember thinking something - something like, _they finally broke you, Ani. You finally let them get to you_ and then - then I blacked out."

Leia is gripping her brother's hand far too harshly, but when she looks at Luke, he looks about as comprehending of it as she was a second ago.

"When I awoke, it was to the worst pain I'd ever felt." Now, Padme's smile returns. "You two - it was worth every second. I thought I would die," she continues. "I thought Anakin would be right; it certainly felt like it. But he wasn't." She eyes them curiously. "I was surprised when I awoke from unconsciousness two days later. So was everyone else, apparently. At first - before the Alliance was formed - I went back to Naboo to live with my older sister, Sola, and her family. We lived there for the first four years of your life. We left - we left because they found us." She sighs, looking less heartbroken and more exhausted, now. "The Emperor and his 'new apprentice' came to visit us for lunch one day. They were going to stay for lunch, at least, before I learned exactly who that new apprentice was. To the galaxy, he went by Darth Vader." Padme meets both of their eyes, fire burning in the coffee-colored depths. "I would only ever know him as Anakin Skywalker."

And there it was. The worst possible conclusion her mind could conjure up - and it was the truth. The dark, hateful monster she'd met on Naboo a few days ago was her father. "No," Leia breathes, releasing Luke's hand and bolting into a standing position. "No, that can't - it can't be true. Mom, that doesn't make any sense - I've _met_ Vader - he's not - he can't be -"

"You've _met_ him?" Padme snaps, eyes darting up to meet her daughter's. "When? Where? Did he hurt you? I will -"

"No," Leia says, dropping her gaze to the floor once again and falling back into the sofa. "He didn't do anything to me, actually. We spoke for a few minutes, and he let me go. It was -" She hesitates. "It was a few days ago, on Naboo. When I took the coordinates from their hidden base."

She feels her mother and brother's gazes on her, varying degrees of shock and disbelief etched into their expressions.

"Leia," Luke breathes. "You've _met_ Darth Vader?"

"And I hated him," she snaps, sending her brother a look so cold even he shrinks back. "Don't _you_ go getting any stupid all-righteous ideas, Luke Skywalker. I _know_ you. There's a limit here." _You can't find good in everyone_ , she tells him through their bond, watches his face harden into the mask of frustration only his sister could create.

 _Just because you don't_ want _there to be good in everyone doesn't mean it's not there_ , she hears his voice echo in her mind.

Leia whirls on him. "I don't _want_ there to be good in everyone? What does that _mean_? Luke, trust _me_ , I'm quite aware that I'll never compare to the staggering tower of heroic courage and kindness that is _you_ , but I like to think I'm at least half as good as you. Or, no - maybe that's jumping it a little. Say, forty percent?"

Her brother's face softens. "Leia -"

"I don't _have_ to see the good in everything to be a good person, Luke. I mean, sure, I've got my problems. I get angry. But I'm not - that's not what you meant, is it?" she asks suddenly, spinning to face their mother, a horrible thought coming to her head. "When you - when you said I was like him. Our father."

Padme shakes her head, then, smiling sadly, wearily. "Of course not, Leia. You remind me of - of how he used to be. Passionate and loving and fiery. Protective. In my mind, Anakin Skywalker and Vader are about as separate as they come. Your father is gone, my loves, for better or for worse, and Vader is but a shadow in his place."

"But they _are_ the same person," Leia says. "They _are_. Denying that won't fix anything, will it? Anakin Skywalker - he's Vader's past."

Padme smiles again, but it's brighter this time, as if her daughter's enthusiastic curiosity swept away her exhaustion. "At first, that's what I told myself. I spent years telling myself that there was good in him still. I still believe it. I was taught to always give second chances," she says, looking reminiscent - lost in her own mind. "And there was no way a person so good and brave and loving could just . . . be gone. Over the years, though, I've stopped thinking he'll ever come back - at least, he never will, not on his own. He's not like Sidious, you can rest assured of that. But . . . Darth Vader is not a good man."

Luke is looking out the window, blue eyes dark with concentration that stirs a seed of unease in Leia's stomach. That look on her brother never meant for well. It was - determination. Stubbornness. Willpower. "Luke," she warns, and his head snaps to hers.

He smiles at her slowly, and Leia's discontent grows. "Some people -" he says, and Leia shuts her eyes, _knowing_ what will come next, _Force_ \- "Some people just need someone to remind them of the good on the inside."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Welcome back.**

 **So this part is about a year or so in the future - from the first chapter, that is - and it focuses on something that would have happened after Vader discovered that his children were alive and that Padme was in the Rebellion. It is relying off of the part in A New Hope where Leia is captured by the Empire, and since Luke and their mother were with them, they were taken as well, which will be explained in this chapter. They are about sixteen in this, where in the first chapter they were both almost fifteen.**

 **The reason I skipped over a bunch of stuff - my most sincere apologies are offered - is because none of it that could have happened before this time period really struck me as interesting enough to write a good 6,000 or so words about. I tried, but I didn't like it.**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoy, and to all who favorited, reviewed, followed: thank you so much! I hope you like this one just as much as the last. If you liked the last, that is.**

* * *

The first thing Leia notices is the darkness.

It hangs around her like a heavy, suffocating blanket and the only relief is her brother's shallow breathing from somewhere to her right. It envelops her as if it is trying to drag her down with it, to live whatever horror awaits with it.

She fights against the weight of it all, because she has always been a fighter, even if the instinct itself grows from her stubborn, reckless nature. It's different from the Force, even though the presence floats around in the same way, easy to grasp at but easier to lose herself in. When she tries to grab it and pull it around her like she is so used to doing, she finds it is suddenly difficult to breathe. She chokes and sputters but after a moment it settles and she feels a dark, terrifying satisfaction bubble in her blood.

Leia lets go of it instantly, left shivering and much colder than before.

She cannot speak because as she and Luke make their way down the dark, dimly lit hallway, a far-off presence cuts off _her_ , and it feels more like she's floating outside of her body, watching the stormtroopers lead she and her brother cautiously down the red glow of the hall and separately into one of the cramped cells.

When she lowers herself onto the metal floor, she almost flinches against the rough grooves. _Weak_ , a voice taunts, one that could be her own but right now she's too exhausted and dazed to tell. _Come on, Princess. You're nothing if you can't be the strong one._

The voice is right, she realizes, pulling herself into a sitting position. She has no idea if Luke has lost hope but he and her mother _need_ her. They need her to do what she does best and protect the Rebellion and everything with her life and her heart, no matter what she must endure.

She will never let them down - _never never never_ \- despite all her weariness and the weight of the darkness. All her life, Leia's mother has lamented the idea that love and determination and strength will always prevail over lust and power and sorrow.

Right now, on the Death Star - as she feels far more alone than she ever remembers feeling before in her life - Leia raises her eyes to the locked door in front of her. Yes, she thinks. Yes, there is always another way.

She tries to reach out to Luke, putting all her renewed strength into the Force and pulling at the familiar strings of their bond, but it's as if no world exists outside of her dark cell.

Leia is truly alone.

So she sits, simmering beneath the surface and refusing to give up - _never_ , she will never give up, even as it hurts in her chest and stings her eyes with tears - blocking away the fear for her mother, somewhere in this huge grey station - _prison_ \- and Luke, who is only a right on the other side of the wall but might as well be in a different galaxy for all she can tell. She has never been so alone and the fear in her heart has never been so clear, but she spins it into determination and faith.

She laces it into something tangible and reliable, something she can count on and believe in. She is Leia Skywalker, and maybe one day she will give up, but that day is not today. It will never be.

She has too much to lose.

* * *

Leia refuses to sleep.

She sits awake in the darkness, seeing it with her eyes and feeling it with her heart and her mind. When they come to her cell, she knows two minutes before they really arrive.

"Leia Skywalker," a stormtrooper intones, clad in that plasticy-looking white suit. "Lord Vader is here to see you."

She swallows, thinking to herself, _I am never weak and I am all I have._ "Well," she says, voice raw despite her usage of it only a few hours before, "why keep him waiting?"

The troopers move aside and behind them he stands, tall and black and imposing. Leia _hates_. She hates him so much that it chokes up her breath and blurs her vision. _Ah_ , Obi-Wan chides in her mind. _Leia, hate is the path to the Dark Side. It was your father's fault. Control yourself_. She inhales, shuddery and long, replacing the dark feeling with determination.

"Skywalker," he drones, sounding like a machine. In Leia's mind, he might as well be. "Interesting that this is where we may meet again."

Her eyes narrow. So he does remember. It was a year or so ago, and Leia's almost sixteen now, still so young - too young - but she recalls going to Naboo to steal the Star Destroyer coordinates and bumping most unfortunately into Vader, before she knew - before she knew who he was. _Organa_ , she had said, careless and not at all thinking of the bad that could come out of this one little lie. _Bail Organa is my father_. "Yes. Interesting."

He studies her for a moment, and she coils up like a spring, waiting to lunge. "I admit, I was doubtful of the truthfulness of your claim, but I never thought of how far and how dangerous a lie you had told. You're reckless, young one." Vader speaks as if everything is a fact, and she's heard him furious and hateful before but now he seems calmer.

She shifts. "How was I to know the name Skywalker was something so lethal?" Not like her mother had ever told her until a few months ago.

"Lethal?" He sounds mockingly amused. "Not as so, child. You see, I was under the foolish impression that the last of them had been eliminated over a decade ago. It was my fervent . . . wish."

Leia smiles bitterly. He speaks as if Skywalker might as well be a stranger's name, a far lost enemy. "I'm sure."

She _feels_ Vader's anger spike, and is suddenly hit with a whooshing relief. The Force hasn't left her yet. And now, maybe, he'll be far less unpredictable. She had a feeling such an offhand, hinting comment would strike some untamed fury.

"You're foolish," he spits. "Come with me."

 _I'm sure,_ she thinks, words like cutting knives, _that I got that from you,_ Father.

* * *

Leia does not scream as they torture her.

It seems she is here for the sole purpose of exposing the Rebel Alliance and not because of her affinity to the Force and last name. They use everything; they electrocute her and strain her limbs until she wants to cry out, but Leia never speaks. She never breaks, and she will never be broken, not by them.

 _Mom and Luke need me_ , she thinks, dazed from the pain and tears blurring her vision. _I will not give in. I will not give up._ Vader tortures her mind with the darkness of the Force, and she is struck with such an imminent, unfaltering terror that she cannot move or yell or speak. She is frozen, horrified and bending just to her breaking point. It is cold and unfamiliar, far worse than the darkness she felt on the way to the cell.

She cries, never making a sound but tears slip silently down her cheeks and her face twists. Her mind is in shambles and she can't move against the dragging, lasting pain of it all.

Days pass, maybe. Leia never, never lets herself give in. Eventually, they stop, so she sits on the floor, scarred beyond repair but still determined and her spirit is still firing away, fueling her hate and her anger and fear.

For the first time in a while, she thinks, _Luke would do so much better in my place. He would not hate or fear as much. Seeing me like this might make him hate, though. Oh, Luke._ She wishes she were strong enough to feel his presence somewhere. She wishes she could let her mother hold her and that she could cry, knowing she is safe. But there is no comfort here, only a deep cold and a rooted darkness.

They take her out of the room and she can't stand on her feet so they drag her. She doesn't drop her glare or let them feel her fear and her sorrow. She plays up her anger and her hate, directing it at the man who could have been her father in another world.

After a few hours, Leia's mind returns and she can see clearly. She is not in the room anymore and suddenly her holding cell feels like a warm place, alone and gentle. _This is what they have reduced me to_ , she spits, pacing around because she cannot sit still. _This is what they have done to me. Do you feel good, Father, now that I am nothing but a shell of what I used to be?_

She sits, alone and cold, shivering to know she is still human, but she never breaks. She is Leia Skywalker, and now the Rebellion is relying on her. She is Leia Skywalker, and her family needs her. She is Leia Skywalker, and that means much more than it should have to.

She is Leia Skywalker, and she wishes that, for once, she could not be strong.

* * *

"You are like your mother," Vader says, voice as close to frustrated as Leia has ever heard it but still dark and dangerous. "You are too stubborn. You put too much faith in those you love. Do you really think your mother and brother and the Rebellion are more concerned with your life than their own?" His words are sharp and nasty.

"My mother," she snarls, pressing herself against the wall, as far away from him as she can get, "you do not get to _speak_ of her."

She feels his pleasure at her renewed anger and spirit. Over the past few days, she has been monotone and emotionless. _Almost broken_. "Do I not? I knew her far before you, Skywalker."

Leia's eyes are dark, retaining their normal amber hue but clouded, now, with a shadowy ghost. _Danger, danger_ , her mind taunts her. She ignores him. "If they are wise, they will value the Rebellion over my life." _Luke is too kind to be rational, though, and Mom is too determined. Funny how these things work out._

He is silent for a moment, as if she has surprised him. "You shouldn't be so selfless," he says, voice a threat through its robotic overtone.

She dares a dark, self-deprecating laugh. Mocking, towards his foolish words. _Selfless, Leia?_ "I'm not selfless," she says. "I can just see the bigger picture when it is needed."

Now that seems to have struck his attention. "You doubt yourself. How . . . curious. One would think that someone of your strength and ability would know where they stood."

"I know where I stand," she hisses. "I stand with the Rebellion, and with Mother and Luke. _Never_ here. I know who I am, _Father_."

Vader is quiet, not making a noise except for the rasp of his breath. "You do not deny your relation to me, then."

She tilts her head up, bruised and burnt and torn beyond some recognition. _I am Leia Skywalker_ , she thinks, _and I will never be broken._ "Fear of the truth is a weakness I cannot afford to have," she says, looking him right in the eye, seeing through the hooded face. "I have far too many already."

* * *

It must be three weeks before Leia sees anyone she knows.

She is less and less everyday, and everyday she loses a little bit of what is left of her hope. Everyday, she is a little angrier, a little more hardened and hurt, a little more determined.

It is deep and dark and even a little scary, now, the things she is feeling, and she fears for the worst. _How can I be strong when the world is so awful_? she wonders, wishing she could see the stars. _How can I be strong when they want me to be so weak?_ She has stopped crying, now, because her eyes feel dry and they are crusted and dull.

And then, alone in her misery and pain, she feels it. _Leia, Leia_ , her brother murmurs, voice choked and gentle, even in her mind. _Don't lose hope, Force. We aren't lost yet, I swear it._

She thinks to herself, _This isn't right. I'm supposed to comfort him._ But then, maybe she could stop being so strong for a moment. _I can't do it, Luke_ , she tells him, and the words surprise even her. _I can't do this anymore. I could do the torture and the physical pain but this - this emptiness. It's too much, can't you tell?_

His momentary silence terrifies her. She's frozen, suddenly, scared to be left alone again like she has been for so long and feeling so much younger, so much like a small child. _Please, please_ , she thinks, choking up. _Please, Force, I can't take it anymore. Please -_

 _Leia!_ Luke's voice in her head feels as if he is right beside her, and she exhales, clenching her fists hard enough to hurt. She can feel his shock and his sudden fear at her hopelessness. _Oh God, Leia_. _Have they broke you?_

And that - _that_ is enough to snap her back into reality. _No_ , no - they haven't _broken_ her. She's not broken. She's scared and hurt and losing her hope quick, but she's not broken. Leia Skywalker, _broken_. No. Never. Not in this universe. Not now. _No,_ she answers, feeling her energy return with a wave of familiar determination and relief. _No, not broken. Just . . . momentarily disabled. Trapped. I'm sure you know the feeling._

She feels his sense of reassurance at her returned spirit. _Oh, Force, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you trying to lighten the mood. I thought something horrible had happened. If Leia Skywalker is broken, surely the galaxy would stop turning to its accord._

Leia smiles, then. Luke had a way of fixing everything, no matter how severe and awful those things were. She supposes he got it from their mother. _Nah_ , she tells him, hiding her own relief. _It would take a lot more than torture to break me._

* * *

"His Royal Majesty the Emperor has requested your presence, Princess."

Instead of the dread the words might have once spilled into her veins, Leia finds it in herself to smile, albeit a bit mockingly. "Wonderful," she says, keeping her voice perfectly level. She's changed these past weeks, more than she would like to think about. "I suppose you'll be leading me there, then."

The stormtrooper shifts nervously. "Um, actually," he begins, voice mechanical through his suit but somehow conveying his emotion perfectly. "Lord Vader will be accompanying you and the - the other one to see his master."

At this, she hides her misplaced excitement. She would finally see Luke, after weeks of misery and dread and terror. She can see her happiness baffles the trooper. "Is Vader here now, then, or is he going to keep us waiting?"

The stormtrooper moves aside, movement jerky, and behind him is Vader. Leia's good mood slips away before he so much as speaks.

"Don't look so eager, girl," he says nastily, somehow making her swallow even as his voice doesn't let any wayward emotion escape. "The Emperor asking for you isn't anything to smile about, even if you get to see your brother. Trust when I say that you won't leave this meeting quite as you entered it."

Leia meets his gaze steadily, suddenly unable to feel anything other than cold neutrality. Diplomacy, like her mother when she goes into her senator mode, still left over from all those years of work. "You've already mauled me beyond fixation," she says without a tinge of regret or sorrow. "I have nothing of myself left to lose."

For a split second, she swears she sees a bit of the man Vader used to be, a flash of someone Leia might have been proud to call her father, someone who was lost long ago. "Oh," he says, turning away from her, "if only that were true."

She is surprised, but keeps it below the surface, beneath the nothing she was feeling a moment ago. When they stop at the cell beside her own, Leia holds her breath until she sees a pair of familiar blue eyes, scarred inside and changed, but still just as bright and just as fervent and true.

"Luke," she breathes, forgetting where they are for a moment and pulling him into a hard, frantic embrace, never wanting to let go. He still smells of his dusty ship cockpit and lemon soap, and she thanks whatever god that is up there that he wasn't hurt nearly as terribly as she was. She could never forgive them - could never forgive _herself_ \- if Luke had been hurt as she had. "You're okay - _Force_ , I thought you might have -"

He squeezes her just as tight, pulling back just as suddenly. "Oh, Leia," he whispers, sounding so, so tired. "What have they done to you?"

"It doesn't matter," she says. "We have to find Mom, Luke."

His blue eyes study her, and there is nothing of the shadow she finds in her own eyes in them. "I know." His eyes flicker behind her, and she is suddenly reminded of Vader standing there. Leia pulls away, stoning her face and turning back to face him.

"There is no time for this," he says. "It is foolish to keep the Emperor waiting."

Luke steps away, nodding. "He's right, you know. I mean, if Palpatine called us, it's bad enough."

Leia narrows her eyes at him, feeling childish. _You're agreeing with_ Vader _?_ she sends through their bond, following Vader down the hallways carefully.

She can _feel_ him roll his eyes, and it almost makes her smile, because it feels like how they usually talk - good-hearted argument and conflict that usually ends with them both laughing. _Leia, really._

 _Oh?_ she snaps back, quickening her pace. _Don't 'Leia, really' me. We both know who he is, yes, but we both also know what he's done. The murder of thousands - millions, actually - of innocents overrules the father thing._

Behind her, she hears Luke sigh. _Just - just bear with me, okay?_

 _Bear with_ what _?_

Another sigh, but quieter. _There's good in him. You'll see.  
_

* * *

The Emperor's room is filled with the darkness.

It's deeper this time, more permanent, and Leia shivers despite her unfortunate familiarity with the dark. As soon as she does, she hears a dark cackle, manic and unpredictable. She stones herself, blocking her mind like Obi-Wan and Yoda used to teach her to do.

"Well, well," Palpatine hisses, mockingly joyful - dangerous. Leia tenses. "I have been expecting you two for a long while." He smiles, but it doesn't do the expression any justice. To Leia, smiles are supposed to be warm and gentle, only looking quite right on someone like her mother, someone who can make you feel better with nothing more than a few words and a twinkle of an eye. On Palpatine, it looks horrid, twisting his wrinkled face into something like a nightmare.

Leia swallows, trying to move closer to Luke. They had taken both their lightsabers as soon as they arrived, and she hadn't had a knife or blaster on her when they were captured. What a stupid thing to do. She curses herself.

"Do not fret, _Princess_ ," he cackles, rising from his chair to stand before Luke and Leia. "You will have your weapons before too long. You'll need them."

Leia stays silent, feeling her hatred build up with every word he speaks. Here - standing right in front of her - is the man who has taken everything from her family and others all over the galaxy. He is the reason people die everyday, and he is the reason Leia's mother is so broke and sorrowful. He is the destruction of all things wonderful and bright and happy, and he is death and destruction and Leia finds that she hates him far more than she ever hated Vader.

The cold smile paints his face again, but this time it is more pleased. "Leia Skywalker," he says, voice deceptively smooth and manic, "you are a sight to behold." His cold hand is placed on her chin, and he tilts her face as if inspecting her. Her anger and disgust bursts from her mind's confinements, and she jerks away in revulsion.

Luke is tensed, looking as close to furious as Leia has ever seen him, and she thinks even Vader may look a bit unnerved.

Palpatine's pleased expression morphed into something almost wickedly giddy. "I have felt your brother's presence many times before, girl," he says, "but never before these past few weeks have I felt yours. I admit, I was surprised. You are so . . . fierce and fiery. You have your father's anger and strong emotion and your mother's wit and stubbornness. It is a glorious combination. You are exactly what I was looking for."

 _Looking for?_ "I will never be anything for you," she snarls, voice quiet but still expressive and fierce.

He laughs again, dark and mocking. "But you are so naive," he says, looking hugely entertained. "You do not know how the Force works, just like your brother. You are both so strong in it - your very presence leaves an irreversible imprint here - but you were trained by two out-of-practice _Jedi_. Oh, don't look so shocked. I know."

For the first time, Luke speaks. "If the Dark Side is what you are referring to, trust me, we are quite familiar." He's so much better at this than Leia; he's calm in the face of anger and threat while she barely contains her emotion. _Maybe Palpatine is right_ , she thinks, bitter.

"Oh?" Palpatine smiles. "Familiar, you say?" He breaks off into wild laughter again. "How so? You think your struggles, Luke Skywalker - the ones in your head - are truly the extent of the Dark Side of the Force? Foolish boy."

"We feel it around here every moment. Even my dreams are plagued with darkness and threat. The presence here is manipulated by you and my father, Your Highness."

He sounds so level and emotionless. Luke is stating the facts, nothing more, and his voice is a perfect expression of this.

Palpatine nods tauntingly. "Yes, you are correct, young Skywalker. This is rather obvious, is it not?" His smile is poison. "You remind me more of your mother than your sister, dear boy. You have her emotional control. This is most unfortunate, but I'm sure we can work around it. I have seen Amidala quite furious a few times." He looks cruelly back at Vader, who tenses and through their unintentional bond Leia can feel his fury.

"What are you . . . referring to?" Luke inquires, careful, but she feels his morbid curiosity.

The Emperor's face melts into one of mock understanding. "You don't know, do you? Your sister does," he cackles.

As the attention swerves back to her, Leia shoves her mental walls back up. Palpatine's eyes are a sickly yellow, unnatural and the clear sign of the Sith, and their direction towards her makes her feel invaded and uncomfortable. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you, girl?"

Leia looks flatly back at him. "You want to turn us," she says, voice devoid of any emotion.

His terrible, pleased smile is back. "Smart, just like your mother. And just as pretty, don't you think, Lord Vader? She looks so much like Amidala - it's shocking, wouldn't you say?" His words are dripping with a pure, unfaltering malice that even Leia has never heard before.

Leia turns to look at Vader, not quite understanding why the Emperor is suddenly directing his verbal interrogation on his apprentice. When she sees Vader, he looks as if he is barely restraining his fury. His hood is always set so you cannot see any of his eyes, but she can feel it - she can _feel_ how hard he is fighting to not let his master's words get to him. Which is rather strange, she thinks, because she has never seen Vader look so - so human. Leia feels Luke's confusion, too, and feels him try and put it together - _oh_.

So maybe she should have taken her mother's story of she and Anakin Skywalker to heart a bit more. She knows that they were in love - once. Once, long ago in someplace that might as well have been another time or a whole other dimension for how different it is to the world now, there was a kind, strong Jedi and a young senator who foolishly fell in love, even against all the laws of their time. Something went terribly wrong, Leia thinks, looking at Darth Vader, and their two children were left with their mother, raised under the harsh light of Rebellion and an unfair world.

She swallows. "Where is our mother, then?" Luke shoots her a warning look, but she is quick to ignore it. "I know you have her."

Palpatine smiles dangerously. "You are correct. We do have your mother with us. Actually, she is closer than either of you think. Whether she's safe . . . well, you have Vader to interrogate for that." As Leia's anger spikes, she watches his satisfied expression triple. So he put Padme with Vader to fuel their hatred. What a twisted thing to do.

"Right again, Princess." He watches her, daring her - taunting her, like he's waiting for her to take the bait - to contradict him, to go up against him. Unfortunately for him, Leia isn't stupid enough to think she could take the Emperor on single-handed. Or at all.

Instead, she turns to Vader, who is watching from the sidelines, looking as carefully thoughtful as she has ever seen him. "So?" she snaps. "Where is she?"

"I'm afraid that isn't something I can answer," he says blankly, barely sparing her a glance.

This time, it's Luke to speak up, and for the first time since she's seen him today, he looks angry. _Oh. Oh, Force, no. Come on, Luke._ "Well, why not?" His blue eyes are accusatory and hard, and Leia almost flinches when they land on her. "Come _on_ , Leia. You're supposed to be the reckless one, remember? Don't just stand there."

"What do you want me to do?" she snaps back. Usually, she finds the only way to deal with Luke's anger is to level it out with her own. "Storm the Death Star and deck the Dark Lord of the Sith?" Her voice is biting, and she feels Palpatine's enjoyment.

"This isn't a joke," he says, voice just as sharp. Leia is quite used to people telling her that, much to her chagrin. "Mom could be _dead_ , for all we know."

She laughs then, and she sees him almost jump at the sharp, unhappy ring of it. "Oh?" she taunts, dead smile still in place. "I thought it was you that believed in Vader's unfaltering inner goodness."

Luke makes a frustrated sound, tearing a hand through his hair. "No, this is different. Don't be so _rash_ , Leia, for Force's sake -" And then, as quick as he became angry, it seems to leave him. His blue eyes clear, the dark cloud she's so familiar with disappearing. "No," he says, voice soft and urgent. "Don't you see? This is what Palpatine wants. He wants to turn us against each other and then - then, once we don't have each other, we'll be weak. Right now, the only thing we can count on is each other."

She manages a weary smile. "There's the sensible Luke I'm used to."

" _No_ ," Palpatine snaps. "Stupid boy. You'll never find your mother here, I promise you that. Who knows what Vader did to her." He spits out every word, and every word feels like a little knife to Leia's damaged heart and mind. "Did you know," he begins, voice cold and quiet, "how he tried to kill her, even when she stood before him with a broken heart and tears in her eyes, right before you were born?"

Leia freezes, suddenly feeling cold all over. She remembers . . . something from her mother's story - maybe, something about how close she was to death and how it felt like she couldn't breathe, but never - despite it all, maybe some part of her - some childish part- still wanted to believe - to hold onto the belief that -

"Oh, _yes_ ," he says with relish. "He tried to kill her _then_ \- to choke her - when she still loved him, so why shouldn't he try it again now? She is far from safe in his protection. Maybe he tortured her, Leia, like he did to you, with the worst physical pain, or maybe more like you, Luke, with merely the feeling of a loved one in such terrible pain that you know you'll never feel right again. That you'll never _be_ right again. Maybe . . ." His voice is menacing and frightfully soft against Leia's sudden, roaring anger. "Maybe he even killed her now. Might as well finish the job while he has the chance."

Leia isn't sure what happens after that. She vaguely remembers choking out something, feeling the emotion and fury and hatred build up inside her like an unbreakable wall. All she can think of is how Luke must have felt, trembling and alone for all the weeks she felt like screaming out in pain, how he must have felt every strike to her mind or her body, how he must have been so terrified and lost all the hope he always carried with him. _No one_ deserved that kind of pain, but especially not her good, kind, careful brother who never took a step out to hurt anyone, even if they really, really deserved it.

Her mind is clouded with the thought of her strong, beautiful mother, somewhere in this castle of terror, all alone and with no way to know if her children are alive or dead, only seeing the man who took her whole life away from her for three weeks and not knowing if she would ever see the light of day again. Her wonderful, kind, stubborn mother - _dead_ , maybe.

Suddenly, she sees the lightsabers hanging from the Emperor's belt - _her_ lightsaber, the one Obi-Wan gave to her when she was old enough - and it does nothing but fuel her fiery, dangerous fury. Palpatine doesn't deserve the light of day or a single breath the world creates, but now she hates her father more.

Before she can blink, her lightsaber is flying into her hand and she hadn't even realized she had used to Force, but the blue light ignites and fizzles around the dark room. Her mind is dark and filled with nothing but the deep, rooted fury as she flings herself across the room with the aid of the Force and into action.

Vader is shocked beyond measure, she can feel it, but his saber is out, too, glowing red against her own. Leia's movements are quick and she isn't even in _control_ anymore. Some greater force, some dark presence that has been creeping beneath the surface for far too long breaks free of its mental bonds and fuels her steps and her movement. Vader doesn't do anything but block her, and she's driving him down the steps fast, tempo unrelenting to keep up with the pace of her rage.

Somehow, seeing him stand without fighting back makes her angrier. She moves faster, quicker, stealthier, striking where he is most vulnerable and feeling the burning satisfaction when she manages to knock the saber out of his hands. It flies to the ground, extinguished, and it is quiet except for Leia's quick, harsh breathing and the Emperor's loud, encouraging cackles.

Like she did when she arrived, Leia suddenly feels as if she is watching herself as if she is in a holomovie. Her mind is floating outside of her body, and suddenly she is in a panic but there is nothing she can do about it.

Luke shouts her name, but she ignores him, glaring Vader down. His hood has fallen, and there is a man with Palpatine's yellow eyes and light brown hair streaked with grey. Leia's saber hovers near his neck, and then -

" _Leia_!" It's Luke's voice, desperate and full of something deep and sad. She turns to face him, fury still written all over her face and her movements, and falters. Luke looks shocked at what he sees, like he's not looking at the twin sister he's known forever, but someone unpredictable and dangerous - a caged animal. "What are you doing?" he asks, and his voice cracks on the last word.

Leia's breathing is unsteady. "I'm doing what has to be done," she spits. "Don't you get what he did to you? He deserves to - to -" She struggles with the words, desperate to do _something_.

"To die?" Her brother's voice is flat. "Does anyone really deserve _death_ , Leia? You have to have a little faith. Everyone deserves a second chance."

Her face twists in disgust. "So you're saying that Palpatine doesn't deserve to die? That we should have faith that deep down, he's a good guy, too?" Her anger is building up again, and she turns, ready to strike Vader down once and for all. When she does, she sees that he's retrieved his lightsaber and is standing a few feet away, looking more tired than he has the right to be.

Luke looks exasperated, and the look on his face is so familiar that Leia's hand droops and she blinks. "You're using the Dark Side," he says. "Your eyes are - they're yellow."

And then - she floats back, a little bit at a time, recognizing her own mind again. She's _Leia_ , and she's never been perfect, but she loves her family and she knows her strengths and her weaknesses and she knows who she _is_. She knows that - despite her young age of only sixteen - most of the generals and commanders in the Rebellion respect her, even with all her faults and her tendency to be a little freeminded and disobedient. She's getting better, though, and she's still really reckless but now she understands that sometime, it is good and perfectly fine to respect the opinions and authority of others, especially those older and more experienced.

She blinks, and she is once again Leia Skywalker, prodigy of the Rebellion and determined that her children will never have to know the cruelty of the Empire or its residents.

She turns back to Luke slowly, dropping her lightsaber completely and feeling the darkness whoosh out of her, leaving her feeling not the flaming anger but a deep, sudden regret that pricks tears at her eyes. "Luke," she chokes, feeling more helpless than she ever remembers feeling before. "I - I'm so sorry."

Her brother is there before she can say anything else, warm and reassuring. "Sh," he murmurs, sounding close to tears himself. "It's all right. We're okay. We're going to be fine, Force, I _swear_." She feels him swallow. "I'll get us all out of here alive."

"That isn't fair," she whispers. "You aren't alone. We'll find Mom."

Behind them, Palpatine growls dangerously. " _Stupid_ boy," he repeats. "If you insist on being so difficult, then I will have to do this myself. Vader," he snarls, and the man in question looks up. "Go get Amidala. We're going to have to do this the hard way."

Vader doesn't seem too fond of that idea. "Master, I must protest -"

"Do _not_ let your personal feelings get in the way of your goals, Lord Vader."

It's silent for a moment, strangely so, then - "Yes, Master." The last word is bitter, resentful.

Leia is far more fearful for their mother than she lets through. And when Vader comes back with Padme in tow, she almost cries out. Her mother's face is haggard and the worry lines and wrinkles are deeper than before, as if she aged ten years in the few weeks they've been here.

"Oh," she breathes, looking from Leia to Luke and back again. "Oh, my children. You're here. You're alive - _Force_ , thank you." She rushes up to Leia, stroking her hair back and kissing her forehead and her cheeks, murmuring words of reassurance before she moves to Luke, doing the same. "I've missed you both so much." Her words are choked up and cut off. "You have no idea - _Force_."

"Mom," Leia chokes. "Mom. Something - something is going to happen - I can't let you get hurt, _please_ -"

But Padme's dark eyes - so alike to Leia's own - are determined and unmoving. "I have to protect your both before everything," she says fervently. "Promise me that you'll let me do that. For me. Please." She cups both of their cheeks with a hand.

Leia exchanges a look with her brother. "Mom, I don't -"

"Well, this is all very touching," Palpatine drawls, sounding quite disgusted, actually. "But I'm afraid we didn't bring her here to watch a bad holomovie."

Leia swallows against her dry throat, watching as one of the Emperor's red-clad guards drags her mother up in front of the stairs. Behind her, she feels Vader tense. She works it through her mind, turning the thoughts over and lamenting them down there before she is sure what she will say. "Wait!" she says quickly, and Palpatine looks up expectantly. Distantly, she hears her mother mutter something like _come on, Leia_ but she ignores it. "I'll - I'll make a deal."

Slowly, Palpatine's dark smile paints itself across his face again. "Interesting."

She takes a deep breath, glancing sideways at Luke. "If you let us go now, I'll come back in three years. Luke will, too." Leia winces. "We'll - we'll do whatever you want. I swear it. Just - just _please_ \- don't hurt her. I swear."

"How much is your word worth, _girl_? I know a plot when I hear it," he snarls, pacing towards her.

"It _is_ a plot," she says. "It's a plot to keep my mother safe and - and prepare myself."

"Interesting," he says again, voice a menace. "Why three years, then?"

Leia shrugs. "In three years, Luke and I will be nineteen. We'll be adults. Now, we're barely sixteen. Just children. How can we really make a decision?"

Palpatine's sickly yellow eyes narrow. "And if I were to . . . accept this compromise, how would I know you keep your word?"

"If I don't -" she shudders out a breath. "If I don't, you can have the location of the Rebel base. I'll give it to R2 and program him to release it if we don't appear. Either way, you get something you want."

"You're a clever girl," the Emperor hisses. "Stupid, but clever. I accept. You may leave. We'll give you all a ship and you can be on your way."

Padme is looking between everyone in the room. "Leia," she says, voice a warning. "I hope you're not making a mistake."

Leia looks right back, then at Vader, who looks contemplative. "I do too."


End file.
